some jokes to share..

Good Nurses Humor

A nursing assistant, floor nurse, and charge nurse from a small nursing home were taking a lunch break in the break room. In walks a lady dressed in silk scarfs and wearing large polished stoned jewlery.
"I am ’Gina the Great’," stated the lady. "I am so pleased with the way you have taken care of my aunt that I will now grant the next three wishes!" With a wave of her hand and a puff of smoke, the room was filled with flowers, fruit and bottles of drink, proving that she did have the power to grant wishes before any of the nurses refute her.
The nurses quickly aurgued amongst themselves as to which one would ask for the first wish. Speaking up, the nursing assistant wished first.
"I wish I were on a tropical island beach, with single, well-built men feeding me fruit and tending to my every need." With a puff of smoke, the nursing assistant was gone.
The floor nurse went next."I wish I were rich and retired and spending my days in my own warm cabin at a ski resort with well groomed men feeding me cocoa and doughnuts." With a puff of smoke, she too was gone.
"Now, what is the last wish?" asked the lady.
The charge nurse said," I want those two back on the floor at the end of the lunch break!"

Differences Between Graduate Nurse and Experienced Nurses

A Graduate Nurse throws up when the patient does.
An experienced nurse calls housekeeping when a patient throws up
A Graduate Nurse wears so many pins on their name badge you can’t read it.
An experienced nurse doesn’t wear a name badge for liability reasons
A Graduate Nurse charts too much.
An experienced nurse doesn’t chart enough.
A Graduate Nurse loves to run to codes.
An experienced nurse makes graduate nurses run to codes.
A Graduate Nurse wants everyone to know they are a nurse.
An experienced nurse doesn’t want anyone to know they are a nurse.
A Graduate Nurse keeps detailed notes on a pad.
An experienced nurse writes on the back of their hand, paper scraps, napkins, etc.
A Graduate Nurse will spend all day trying to reorient a patient.
An experienced nurse will chart the patient is disoriented and restrain them.
A Graduate Nurse can hear a beeping I-med at 50 yards.
An experienced nurse can’t hear any alarms at any distance.
A Graduate Nurse loves to hear abnormal heart and breath sounds.
An experienced nurse doesn’t want to know about them unless the patient is symptomatic.
A Graduate Nurse spends 2 hours giving a patient a bath.
An experienced nurse lets the CNA give the patient a bath.
A Graduate Nurse thinks people respect Nurses.
An experienced nurse knows everybody blames everything on the nurse.
A Graduate Nurse looks for blood on a bandage hoping they will get to change it.
An experienced nurse knows a little blood never hurt anybody.
A Graduate Nurse looks for a chance "to work with the family."
An experienced nurse avoids the family.
A Graduate Nurse expects meds and supplies to be delivered on time.
An experienced nurse expects them to never be delivered at all.
A Graduate Nurse will spend days bladder training an incontinent patient.
An experienced nurse will insert a Foley catheter.
A Graduate Nurse always answers their phone.
An experienced nurse checks their caller ID before answering the phone.
A Graduate Nurse thinks psych patients are interesting.
An experienced nurse thinks psych patients are crazy.
A Graduate Nurse carries reference books in their bag.
An experienced nurse carries magazines, lunch, and some "cough syrup" in their bag.
A Graduate Nurse doesn’t find this funny.
An experienced nurse does.

Nursing Humor - Living With a Nurse

It’s hard to live with a nurse because...
1) When you forget to flush the toilet, you get a complete analysis with a plan on how to correct any noted problems.
2) Thanksgiving dinner comes in pre-cut small pieces because she doesn’t want to have to perform the Heimlich maneuver and be reminded of work on the only holiday she’s had off in years.
3) You’ve been awakened from a dead sleep in the middle of the night to find her shaking you because your breathing patterns were a little too close to a Cheyne-Stokes rhythm.

Funny Nurses Joke

Why did the nurse keep the bedpan in the refrigerator?
Because when she kept it in the freezer it took too much skin off.

E-cigarettes not recommended for quitting smoking

Though many smokers believe electronic cigarettes are designed to help them quit, such an assumption may be untrue, federal officials said.
Art senior Adam Pezen said he learned about e-cigarettes from online blogs and first tried them out of curiosity.
“My mom bought them because she had been a hardcore smoker for about 30 years,” Pezen said. “She passed [the habit] on to me.”
Pezen said he and his mother both still smoke tobacco cigarettes on a regular basis.
Smoking an e-cigarette is completely different than smoking the real thing and doesn’t satisfy the feeling smokers want when they have a cigarette, he said.
“You can feel a nicotine rush that is quite stronger than a real cigarette,” Pezen said.
The e-cigarettes are designed for only one long drag, which is different from traditional puffing.
The blogs Pezen read advocated e-cigarettes as the safe way to quit, but he said he doesn’t think they help people kick the habit.
He later tried e-cigarettes in an attempt to quit smoking but was unsuccessful.
The Food and Drug Administration is currently in a lawsuit with two different e-cigarette companies and does not endorse e-cigarettes, spokeswoman Siobhan DeLancey said.
“The most important thing to us is that we do believe that these are drug delivery devices,” said DeLancey. “They have not been through the typical drug review.”
Though e-cigarettes have not been through a drug review, they are still being sold nationwide and online.
Undeclared freshman Julianna Cossman said she saw e-cigarettes being sold in a mall in her home state of Pennsylvania.
“I think it is a silly concept,” said Cossman, a smoker who said she doesn’t think the product serves any purpose other than a new way to smoke.
DeLancey said the FDA would like to see e-cigarette companies come forward and bring their products in for clinical trials.
FDA scientists have bought the e-cigarettes and examined them, finding traces of nitrosamines (tobacco carcinogens) and ethylene glycol (an industrial antifreeze) in the devices studied, she said.
“We’re not sure what the effects of these chemicals would be on the human body,” DeLancey said.
The nitrosamines found in electronic cigarettes could be similar to those found in tobacco that are known to cause cancer, she said.
E-cigarette companies, such as Smoke Anywhere, claim the devices are designed as a tar-and-tobacco-free way to enjoy smoking and not intended to help users stop smoking.
However, Cossman said she feels the products are being marketed that way.
“My mom quit smoking using a similar product,” Cossman said.
However, the product that Cossman said her mother used allowed the smoker to control the nicotine level in the device.
In a July 22 press release, the FDA warned the public about e-cigarettes, saying the product contain toxins and doesn’t have a warning label on it. The release also said that the product comes in many different flavors, something that may appeal to young people.
DeLancey said any regulation of e-cigarettes by the FDA would depend on the outcome of clinical tests at the discretion of the producer.
“Until then, it’s a complete unknown,” she said.